piratefiction Chapter 148 A Dangerous World with Dirty Jokes
Chapter 148 A Dangerous World with Dirty Jokes
Chapter 148 A Dangerous World with Dirty Jokes
Tony Stark stood in his oceanfront villa on Long Island, directing Jarvis's robotic arm to clean up the mess left behind when he jumped to different worlds.
The rudimentary teleportation device became unsustainable after Tony set off for Joey's world, resulting in a violent explosion.
If Tony hadn't been lucky, he probably would have turned to ashes along with the teleportation device.
During the two days he was missing, everyone at Stark Industries and those at S.H.I.E.L.D. who were in contact with him went crazy.
Fortunately, Tony is back now. A few days later, his assistant, secretary, girlfriend, Pepper Pepper would probably have had to sign legal documents and inherit Stark Industries' vast empire with tears in his eyes.
"Ah, you're alright, Mr. Stark. That's good. Thank you. I don't drink. Goodbye!"
S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil Coulson was already in a panic. He rushed over in a S.H.I.E.L.D. Harrier jet, confirmed that Stark was still alive and well, and then hurriedly left.
Tony was left standing there awkwardly, having taken out an extra glass of wine.
"Okay, I can drink two glasses by myself."
Tony, who had gotten to know the other party better, sometimes wondered, "S.H.I.E.L.D. is such a big organization, surely Coulson isn't the only one doing all the work?"
He felt that Agent Coulson, with whom he was working, was always busy, as if the latter had to take care of every troublesome matter.
He was back, but Joey, who had teleported with him, was nowhere to be found. This shouldn't have happened; there must have been a problem with Cyborg's part of the work.
Why did you move?
Speak of the devil, and he appears. Just as Tony was thinking about how to find his lost Joey, the latter had already come knocking on his door.
Joey slipped in through the floor-to-ceiling window, took the glass of wine from Tony's hand, and downed it in one gulp. Then he frowned and said, "This is just water."
Kryptonians' metabolic mechanisms have made Joey immune to alcohol on Earth; for him to drink any alcohol would be a pure waste.
"Don't waste my precious collection! I can finish it myself!"
Tony noticed this too, and without hesitation, he snatched the glass from Joey's hand. Only then did he notice the thick blood staining the glass.
"Joey, you son of a bitch!"
Tony, who has always been a bit of a germaphobe, felt a chill run down his spine when he saw the blood on his hands, and almost fainted on the spot.
"So, you accidentally killed a monster?"
Tony, who had been burning incense and taking baths three or four times, lay on the sofa in his bathrobe and immediately downed a glass of wine to calm himself down.
After pouring himself another half-glass of martini, he finally settled into listening to Joey recount how the blood on his hands came about.
After hearing how Joey had punched Abomination into a bloody mess, Tony could sense that Joey was still bothered by the incident, though he didn't know why:
"You're unhappy? Why? That monster ravaged an entire block, causing massive casualties and damage. It's not a big deal if we accidentally killed him in the fight."
"That's not how it is, Tony."
What Joey was worried about at this moment was not that he would kill Abomination. He had let the demon in his heart run rampant in the past, and his hands were stained with plenty of blood. He didn't need Abomination to make a difference.
His concern was about his sudden loss of control; he had previously lived in a perilous environment where, most of the time, he hadn't had to restrain his power too much.
"Imagine, Tony, one day I'm about to give you a big hug, but I accidentally use too much force and end up choking you into Tony."
Joey's example was merely an extreme case; he certainly couldn't turn Iron Man into an Iron Man and an Iron Man suit in a single hug. Nevertheless, his words sent a chill down Tony's spine.
However, playboy Tony immediately thought of a hilariously inappropriate joke for the current conversation:
"Joey, now that you mention it, something suddenly occurred to me..."
"What if you ask a girl out tomorrow to connect with someone? And when you finally snap, what will happen...?"
Tony held up his hand and made a gun shape, then added a "Break!" sound effect:
"Will this threaten the girl's life?"
+
Seeing Tony winking and making faces at him, Joey, who was initially worried about losing control again, couldn't help but burst into laughter at Tony's outrageously lewd joke, resulting in him uttering nothing but censored words:
"I'm *****, Tony."
Take a deep breath, take a deep breath...
After Tony's antics and meddling, Joey actually felt much better.
Is this Iron Man's IQ and EQ?
Tony, who had just uttered a dirty joke, clearly had no intention of stopping. He relentlessly followed up with several more suggestive topics, bombarding Joey's once-solid moral compass:
"Honestly, your face is probably only slightly less attractive than mine. Do you know how to get three girls a day? One in the morning, one at noon, and one in the evening?"
Joey figured that getting someone as approachable as Tony to talk about relationships was unlikely to yield anything worthwhile, but he was still quite curious to see what kind of incredible ideas Tony might come up with:
"Tell me about it?"
"The method for dating three girls in one day is very simple."
Tony, sprawled on the sofa, tilted his head back and downed another half-glass of martini:
"All you need to do is reject the other 97 girls who come to you."
"Hiss~"
Joey gasped; at that moment, he actually felt that Tony, that scoundrel, had managed to spew out a few ivory tusks.
Of course, while what the other party said made a lot of sense, Joey was, after all, a person with morals, ideals, and integrity.
"Thank you for the compliment, but I already have a girlfriend."
"So what!"
Joey's words touched on Tony's area of expertise, making it difficult for his playboy heart to be tamed:
Having a girlfriend doesn't mean you can't briefly experience a new life.
Joey practically clapped for Tony: "6!"
Of course, he was just listening in; although he didn't object to Tony's words, not objecting doesn't mean he agreed.
Under the influence of alcohol, the conversation between the two, which should have been a high-level discussion about how to save the world, immediately veered towards vulgarity, especially Tony, who completely opened up:
"Tch, you're such a hypocrite. Let me tell you..."
Joey's initial worries were completely overwhelmed by Tony's endless stream of dirty jokes, and it was difficult for her to recover them anytime soon.
But good times are always fleeting. Just as the conversation was heading in a direction that couldn't be broadcast, a loud bang interrupted their pleasant exchange.
Boom!
At the site of Tony's original teleportation device, a dazzling light shone, and with a loud bang, a figure appeared, his entire body engulfed in radiant flames.
This kind of light is a spectrum of radiation that Joey is very familiar with and has experienced in depth.
As the flames burned out, bright orange skin and golden-red hair were revealed beneath. The newcomer's eyes swept across the living room before settling on Joey.
Hello, Spark.
Joey forced a smile and greeted Starfire, "How are your injuries?"
He figured that besides himself, the other side would definitely send more people here to act as they saw fit, since with a formidable enemy at hand, everyone wanted more time.
What I didn't expect was that Steelbone would be so efficient, that someone from the other side would arrive so quickly, and that it would be Spark.
This is really bizarre, where is the little bat?
He's definitely more useful than Xinghuo, isn't he?!
"Cyborg discovered the calculation error when initiating the teleportation; the teleportation parameters set for you would cause enormous damage to teleporters from outside this universe."
Xinghuo noticed Joey's confusion and explained:
"I forced Cyborg to recalculate the parameters and then sent me here. Even if something happens to you, I can take care of you."
Her left hand was still holding her right arm, which was not yet fully healed. The previous incision site still ached faintly, making her frown, but her concern for Joey compelled her to come.
Perhaps it was due to Joey's special constitution, but there were no accidents caused by the teleportation, only a slight dizziness when she arrived.
But he soon discovered that there were still unexpected events, not from the dangerous interdimensional teleportation, but from someone's loose tongue.
"Oh, you two know each other, that's good."
Tony, who was already quite drunk, looked up at Starfire and, noticing that the other person was very familiar with Joey, lowered his guard without any suspicion.
He ignored Joey's gaze and continued the previous topic: "Where was I...? Oh right!"
"Cough cough, Tony, cough cough, Tony!"
Still half-asleep, Tony paid no attention to Joey's coughing and continued the previous conversation as if no one else was around:
"Of all the Playboy cover girls from the entire year that I just mentioned, which one's contact information would you most like to know?"
Right now, facing Xinghuo, what Joey wants most is definitely not some cover girl's contact information.
Instead, Tony Stark should shut his mouth!
Under the watchful gaze of Starfire's emerald eyes, Joey, feeling extremely uneasy, barely suppressed the urge to grab a nearby pillow and smother Tony to death on the spot. Instead, he silently planned Tony's demise in his mind:
"Tony, when you sober up tomorrow, I'm going to kill you myself!"